Happiness can mean different things to different people. For some of us, money means happiness. But for someone who is financially content, happiness can mean something else, or something more entirely.

In 2023, the Pew Research Center assessed the happiness levels of Black adults living in America. The researchers found that Black Americans with higher incomes were more likely to report being “extremely or very happy” compared to those with middle and lower incomes. On the other hand, the majority of all the respondents on average reported being “somewhat” happy despite their income levels. So, while money is one way of determining the degree of happiness in our lives, it’s not the sole factor - because at least 26 percent of Black Americans with lower incomes reported being “extremely or very happy” for the most part. 

Your Happiness Meter

Happiness is often measured based on one's overall satisfaction in life. It was Dale Carnegie who once said, “Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.” But can you still be happy in challenging times? If happiness is about wanting what you have, then can you still be happy when life is not perfect and you feel as if you’re not getting what you desire?

Shifting to Happy

About a week before writing this editorial, I did an impromptu personal experiment. For four consecutive days, I did a reversal. Although, I can always find reasons for being grateful, I wasn’t happy with how things were going in my life. I felt like it was time for me to change my attitude. Instead of looking at my outer circumstances, I decided to focus on being happy. Rather than worrying about the future or thinking about the past, I focused as much as possible on living in the present moment. I accepted where I was and how things were. As a result, my spirits were automatically lifted. 

I decided to start meditating on these positive feelings to connect with happiness from within. I refrained from talking to others about “having more happiness” or lecturing about what it means to be happy in life. I also didn’t post thoughts or quotes about happiness on social media. My goal was to focus on experiencing happiness by being present with my own positive feelings throughout the day, regardless of the situation or events that occurred from moment to moment. Instead of talking about it, I decided to actually live from a place of happiness.

I also recognized that I needed to be practical and honest with myself about my true feelings. As life continued to happen, I didn’t want to deceive myself about how I was genuinely feeling at any given moment. So, for the next four days I decided to live with the intention of being happy. First thing in the morning and before going to bed at night, I meditated on feelings of unconditional happiness and unconditional love. This experience caused me to realize the following:

Being happy requires living in the present moment.

When I focused on the present moment and what was actually happening in that particular moment, I felt much happier than when my thoughts drifted into thinking about what could happen in the future or what already happened in the past. In order to maintain my current state of happiness, I realized I needed to give focused attention to whatever I was doing in that moment, and take action in that moment. Minute-by-minute, happiness, for me, meant living more consciously in the present moment.

Being happy makes you more thankful.

The more happiness I felt while focusing on the present moment, the more thankful I began to feel as well. For instance, rather than feeling lucky to be where I am in life, or feeling lucky to have the relationships I have, I began to feel more thankful for all the good things and people in my life instead.

Being happy makes you happier.

Being happy made me instinctively do things differently. The more I focused on being happy, the lighter I felt. This in turn caused me to make time to clear out some cluttered spaces in my home, which made me feel even more lighter and happier. My energy also began to increase. I felt revitalized, which further increased my happiness. In short, I began to feel like I was on a happy-high as I started to feel more and more happiness and joy. I resisted the tendency to do anything that day, or the next, that would make me unhappy. In fact, I became more optimistic as I found myself focusing more on the silver lining when it came to some things that I was dreading to do, but needed to take care of.

Being happy is a decision.

Ultimately, what I learned from being happy is that happiness begins with you, and it can be more empowering when it comes from within. Happiness is based on a decision that you make to be happy. I also learned that focusing on the positive and choosing to be happy is not about being delusional and ignoring the realities in life. It means not allowing negativity and pessimism to become apart of your everyday mood or disposition.

Sometimes people think that being happy when life is not perfect is about sticking your head in the sand and avoiding reality, but it’s not. You shouldn’t ignore your emotions, whether good or bad, but we shouldn’t dismiss the fact that being happy is also a reality.

When you’re going through hard times, it’s important to support yourself emotionally. Remember, there’s a link between our emotions and our mental and physical health. Focusing on being happy based on unconditional love and a form of unconditional happiness can help. The more happiness you feel, the more good you will attract into your life. This is why it’s important to face your reality, and focus on positive thoughts and emotions, especially during challenging times.

Photograph by Samson Katt